I was stuck in the copy room for two hours today at my work. I am the office copy jocky. I was in good company, though. The copy room is a place where generally all of the office dogs hang out. Not the marketing department, the actual red sky pooches. Of which there are many. So, it was me and the dogs and hot copier smell in a little room for two hours. Got me to thinking about owning my own dog. I would like one, but all the standard arguments against having one apply to me.

1. My apartment isn't 'dog friendly'. That's right. I live in a place you wouldn't let a dog live in. it's ok for me. It's ok for my daughter. It's ok for Jeremy and the cats. I guess dogs have special needs. And it must be because:

2. Dogs need room. Which also strikes me as funny. It's not as if you buy a dog and they move in with all their crap. Like suddenly you have two of everything and the dog has a nicer entertainment center than you do and you can't use his cooking crap because it's his special cooking crap and the dog only eats kosher food. It's not like that at all. Dogs are pretty much happy if they have a blanket to cultivate their little flea farms in. And they don't even need THAT, they are more than happy to share yours with you.

3. Dogs need training. Somehow people have the impression that dogs wont sit or stay if you don't tell them to. This is a lie. Probably made up by the dog. They figure that if you focus on small things like that, and they make it difficult for you, that you wont try to train them out of the big things. Like don't shit on the sidewalk, don't lick your balls in public, don't fuck the couch. I am pretty much a teach by example type of person. My daughter does none of these things. Training a dog must be harder than raising a child.

4. Dogs are a long term responsibility. You can expect your relationship with your dog to last ten years or longer. Unlike my relationship with my husband, which lasted a year and a half and was STILL way too long.

5. Dogs get resentful if you stay out too late and leave them alone for too long. That's pretty much true with anything. See the second half of #4.